


still falling for you

by ShirosRedKnight (SweetFanfics)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bittersweet, Fanfic of Fanfic, Keith and Shiro coming to terms with their new normal, M/M, Reunions, Switching, cuz shiro still isn't ready to return, ive been told its warm and tender so, keith pov, sort of an epilogue/sequel to 117-9875
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 22:53:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7989121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetFanfics/pseuds/ShirosRedKnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the 58th day since his last visit, like clockwork, the Castle of Lions would pick up a familiar signal on the radar signalling that Shiro was coming in for a visit.</p><p>Set a few months after 117-9875 ends. Could be read as stand-alone I guess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	still falling for you

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [117-9875](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7334497) by [Glossolalia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glossolalia/pseuds/Glossolalia). 



> listen, i shout from the bottom of 117 hell, this fic ruined me in the best of ways. its my favorite fic. and here i am writing fanfic for fanfic because that's what my life is now.
> 
> fic title & lyrics in fic are from Ellie Goulding’s - Still Falling For You.

 

 

 

 

 _this love is like fire and ice/this love is like rain and blue skies/this love is like sun on the rise/_ _this love got me rolling the dice_

_don't let me lose_

 

On the 58th day since his last visit, like clockwork, the Castle of Lions would pick up a familiar signal. The radar would blip and show a blue triangle, signalling that a friendly ship was incoming. The comm's would crackle softly with the bare minimum distortion before Shiro's familiar voice would hail the ship. 

 

Invariably, this knowledge would lead to an uptick in everyone’s mood. More gentle ribbing and teasing, easy laughter bouncing off the walls, and a general air of anticipation as they waited to hear Shiro’s voice telling them he would be on-board soon.

 

The anticipation would peak in a few hours as Shiro’d pod would dock in the hangar bay, Lance and Pidge literally shuffling from foot to foot in eagerness. Pop like a sweet scented bubble the second Shiro would step out, pull his helmet off, and beam at the group.

 

He wasn't not sure why but Keith had preferred to stay back when the reunions happen. Every single time. Since the first time Shiro returned, Keith had hung back and waited his turn, letting the others go before him. 

 

Arms lightly crossed over his chest, Keith grinned at the way Hunk picked up Shiro, Pidge, _and_  Lance in a warm hug. Softened it into a smile at the greetings Shiro would exchange with Matt, Coran, and Allura. Try not to shake apart with nervous happiness when Shiro came to stand before him, silver armor glimmering like a mirage. Looking so good, so happy, so _whole_  that Keith didn’t know what to do with himself.

 

“Hey,” Shiro greeted, petal soft and sweet, holding his hands out, palms up.

 

_It’s good to have you back._

 

Lips twitching up faintly, Keith let his arms drop and curled his fingers carefully around Shiro's wrists and squeezed. “Hey.”

 

_It’s good to be back._

 

Felt the star in his chest pulsate with life, burning, when Shiro’s soft lips pressed firmly against his. It was chaste and restrained but the way the kiss lingered? It gave too much away. As did the way Keith took his hands back, cupped Shiro’s face, and kissed back with increasing intensity. The soft moan he let out when Shiro's tongue pushed his lips probably didn't help either.

 

“Get a room,” Pidge teased.

 

 

 

 

 

_your heart got a story with mine/ _your heart got_ me hurting at times/ _your heart gave me new kinds of highs_ / _your heart got_ me feeling so fine_

_so what to do_

 

It was the knowledge that their time was limited which made Keith languid and easy going. Just seven days. Just shy of 170 hours. Every minute was precious, to be savored instead of squandered. That knowledge smothered the token protests Keith thought of putting up when Shiro pulled him into his lap on the sunken couch. Keith followed, sitting with his shoulder pressing into Shiro's chest, cheek resting on a firm shoulder. 

 

Keith was content to press his nose against Shiro’s neck, breath in his scent and try not to let melancholy take over six days too soon. He kept a hand low on Shiro’s side, across his torso, counting the space between inhale and exhale, happily ignoring the conversation happening around him for the most part.

 

This time? The first evening after Shiro's return? It wasn’t really _his_  time. This was time for the others to re-connect with Shiro. Catch him up on what they’d been doing in the last three months. Their own home coming and catching up happened later, after dinner and behind the closed doors of their room.

 

As though he had read his thoughts, Shiro's hand moved from Keith's thigh up to his hip. Fingertips just brushing the edge of his shirt. A shiver ran up his spine. Keith hide his smile against the high collar of Shiro's vest when he pulled Keith closer. Holding him in a tighter grip.

 

“No way,” Shiro’s chest jumped with laughter, the sound and feel of it making Keith smile more than whatever it was that made Shiro laugh in the first place.

 

“ _Yes_  way,” Matt insisted with a laugh. 

 

Keith closed his eyes and exhaled quietly, tucking away the sweetness of this moment in his memory. A treat to be savored on the lonely nights that would surely come.

 

 

 

 

 

_It took us a while/with every breath a new day/with love on the line/we’ve had our share of mistakes_

_but all your flaws and scars are mine_

 

The heady feeling that Shiro was here, back, holding his hand and pulling him towards their room, was dizzying. It was intoxicating as alcohol but far sweeter. It never got any less intense either.

 

There was something different this time however. An underlying impatience in Shiro’s grip and fast steps that made Keith laugh even as he hurried after him, fingers clutching Shiro’s. 

 

“What’s the rush?” He asked, grabbing Shiro’s wrist just because he could.

 

His answer, was a too bright look and a hard kiss which had fire bursting to life deep inside him. Keith pushed the heat back to Shiro, clutching his shoulders and kissing him back with heated intensity. Shiro’s lips were plush and pink when he pulled away, eyes dark but soft when he murmured, “I just missed you a lot.”

 

There was a sob hiding behind his lungs and it threatened to break free at the confession. Somehow, Keith managed to keep it buried, along with his own confession that he'd missed Shiro more than usual. Instead, he twisted his fingers in Shiro’s dark vest and reeled him back in for another kiss. Filthier, spit-slick and more desperate, filled with the aching longing he’d kept bottled up for three months.

 

There was _so much_  Keith wanted to say. So much to confess. He'd developed a habit of catching so many stray thoughts in both hands, turning then into a folded origami star, and popping them into a jar marked _"_ I’ll tell Shiro  this when he comes back _"_. But every time Shiro was _there_. In front of him, in all his magnificent half-broken glory, those paper stars melted away to warm, golden desire that shivered and kissed the rim of the bottle. Threatening to overflow. Shaking and shimmering until finally overflowing the second they would kiss.

 

“Takashi…” Keith whispered, grabbing Shiro to pull him closer even as he began to move them back to their room. Desire and words clashed, causing his thoughts to jumble into an eldrich abomination inside him which roared and threw itself against his rib cage.  _Screw words_ , he thought hazily, fingers already working to unzip Shiro's vest. There was a better language to communicate with Shiro.

 

It was gratifying that despite all the time they spent apart, they were still fluent in each other. He moaned, desperately sad and painfully horny, when Shiro ducked down a few inches, got his hands under Keith’s thighs, and lifted him up.

 

And carried him back to their room.

 

 

 

 

 

_and just like that/all I breathe/all I feel/you are all for me/i’m in/and just like that/all I breathe/all I feel/you are all for me_

_no one can lift me, catch me the way that you do/I’m still falling for you_

 

The first round was always a hot blur. _Always_. Months of pent up frustration and longing peaking with all the intensity of a star going supernova. And this time was no different from all the times before.

 

Teeth yanked gloves open, hands ripped clothes off, lips pressed together in hard kisses that made their lips ache. Fingers smeared sweat and pre-come into flushed, hard skin, moving frantically in a race to the finish line. Open mouths and teeth pressed against each other's bared shoulders, hiding the sound of their orgasm into the other person. Willing the sound to burrow deep inside their lover and take seed, in the hopes that it would blossom. In what, neither of them could hazard a guess.

 

They stay pressed against each other long after coming, Keith's back pressed against the door and his thighs wrapped around Shiro's hips, pants hanging off one leg. It wasn't until he whispered that they should move that Shiro stirred. But even then, Shiro burrowed closer. Rubbed his forehead against Keith's bare shoulder, fingernails leaving half-moon indentations in the small of Keith’s back before whispering back, “In a minute.”

 

Keith held Shiro and closed his eyes, soaked the quiet afterglow in. Poured it over the vines entwined around his heart in the hopes that the new buds sprouting next to the blossomed peonies would flower as well.  

 

Eventually, they moved to the bed. As he was gently laid down on the bed, Keith noted with amusement that, yet again, they hadn't made it to the bed. Maybe one of these times they'd manage to control themselves long enough-

 

He forgot the thought as soon as Shiro knelt between his legs, tugging his jeans off all the way. They undressed slowly. Hands relearning each other, pausing over new scars curiously and old scars with solemn contemplation.

 

Seated behind him, Shiro murmured, “When’d you get this?” His bionic fingers stroking the pale scar in the middle of Keith’s forearm.

 

“I think during training?" Keith answered, squinting down at the mark. He couldn't remember when he'd gotten the mark but logic dictated it had to be during one of the many drills and training sessions they all participated in.

 

His heart skipped a beat or three at the tender kiss Shiro pressed to the scar. Another over the inside of Keith’s wrist. Another on the heel of his palm. And took a single digit into his wet, hot mouth. Followed by another.

 

With his back pressed against Shiro’s chest, Keith had a prime viewing spot to seeing his fingers being sucked off. “If this is your way of asking if you want to suck me off…” Keith teased huskily, feeling his dick give an answering twitch to the way he felt Shiro hardening against him.

 

Shiro’s grin was immediate, rakish and boyish in the same breath.

 

 

 

 

_this love shining brighter than gold/this love is like letters in bold/this love is like out of control/this love is never growing old_

_you make it new_

 

Keith woke up hours later, warm, content, and lying on his belly. The sheets were tangled around his waist, one balled up fist tucked under his chin. He didn’t have to move to know Shiro wasn’t lying next to him.

 

Cracking a heavy eyelid open, Keith searched in the low lit room for his lover. Found him standing in front of the table Keith had dragged in a few weeks ago. Upon which he’d carefully displayed the various trinkets and gifts Shiro had given him over the course of his many last visits.

 

A shrine to their love. Small pieces of his heart exhibited in an organized fashion. In his head, he made display notes for each piece.

 

_If you put this seashell to your ear, you will hear the sound of my longing for a man who gave his heart to the stars years ago._

 

_This piece of crystal is the small piece of his heart he gifted to me and I cherish more than my own heart._

 

_This red cloth with its black pattern is dyed with the blood we’ve spilled for each other._

_A flower of this species grows inside me, inside him. It's our flower. It chokes my heart and lungs when he's not here. Blooms only when he returns._

 

A tragedy with a happy enough end laid out for whoever to see.

 

Suddenly, their bed was too big too cold too empty. Keith pushed himself upright, ignoring his sore muscles, letting the sheets slide off with a whisper. He padded over to the taller man, pressed against Shiro’s back, arms curled around his chest, and sighed.

 

A heavy hand dropped down on his arm, cool fingers wrapping around his wrist. 

 

“Did I wake you?” Shiro asks quietly.

 

Keith shook his head, pressing kisses to the nape of Shiro’s neck. Laughed quietly into the soft fuzzy hair there, “You need a haircut.”

 

Raising a self-conscious hand to scrub the back of his head, Shiro laughed, “I guess I do. It’s hard to find clippers on alien planets.”

 

“Want me to do it?” 

 

Shiro turned around in his arms, soft cock brushing against Keith’s belly as he pressed close. He grinned down at Keith, teasingly, “I can’t let a prince cut my hair.”

 

“Don’t call me that,” Keith groaned, tiredly because he was long past getting upset at the joke. 

 

Snickering, Shiro pressed a kiss into Keith’s hair and replied, “Sorry.” He didn't sound sorry in the slightest.

 

“It’s a good thing I love you as much as I do,” Keith mock-sighed, elbows on Shiro’s shoulders and fingers lazily linked together.

 

There was a flare of something wondrous and slightly sad in the other man’s eyes before he asked, “You do, huh?”

 

Pushing himself up to his tip toes, Keith captured Shiro’s lips in a soft kiss as answer. 

 

If there was one thing that would always remain true, an absolute, it was his love for Shiro. Suns could burn out, stars could turn into black holes, and the universe itself could collapse on itself. And Keith would continue to love his man staring down at him with awe.

 

“Always will.”

 

“Always is an awfully long time.”

 

Keith shrugged and dragged Shiro in for another kiss.

 

 

 

 

_it took us a while/because we were young and unsure/with love on the line/what if we both would need more  
but all your flaws and scars are mine/still falling for you_

 

“It’s not funny,” Keith complained even as he laughed along with Shiro. He blamed it on the contact high he was experiencing.

 

On his back next to him, Shiro continued to silently wheeze, a hand covering his eyes while his body shook. “It’s a _little_  funny.”

 

Slapping the other man’s bare stomach, Keith corrected him, “Not one bit! They were ready to go to war all because Pidge winked at them. How were we supposed to know that’s the equivalent of insulting their mother?”

 

Shiro continued to shake with laughter. Keith let his hand linger, feeling the way Shiro’s abs came into sharp relief with every exhale. Traced the shape of them up, up, up until his hand rested comfortably over a pectoral. Lazily ran a finger against its soft curve, over and over again.  Pausing only when Shiro held his arm open, inviting Keith closer.

 

The sheets rustled as he pressed up against Shiro's side. Smothering his smile against the other man’s shoulder, hoping he’d never stop feeling so overwhelmed by how deeply he loved Shiro.

 

 “It sounds like you’ve got the hang of things though.”

 

His head immediately shot up, eyes searching out Shiro’s. But Shiro was staring all too carefully up at the dark ceiling, fingers continuing to stroke small circles into Keith’s skin. His face was clear of all emotions. Not even a single wrinkle to give anything away. A perfect poker face and a dead giveaway. 

 

Keith  _had_  to straddle Shiro’s hips and meet his gaze head on. Press one hand down against his heart and the other against his throat. “We’re making do.”

 

_I’m not you._

_We miss you_.

 _We might not need you but that doesn't mean we don't want you here._  

  

A hard smile blossomed on Shiro’s face. A crooked, pained thing that made Keith duck down to kiss it away. He swallowed the bitter taste of it, dragging fingertips down Shiro’s neck and shoulder before holding on.

 

His hands didn’t move from their perch, except when he slipped one down between them to guide Shiro in him. Keith was still slick and messy thanks to the sex they'd had before they'd moved into easy conversation. He rocked down on Shiro's hard length, fingertips pressing into the nape of Shiro's neck to make him hold Keith's gaze.

 

_We’re surviving without you._

_It's not the same._

_I want you here with me to be my support._

 

Shiro’s eyes glimmered, wet at the edges the longer their contact held. Gave up and finally closed shut when Keith pressed their foreheads together and whispered, “Stay with me co-pilot.”

 

Keeping his eyes shut, Shiro nodded and tightened his grip on Keith’s hips. The almost painful grip made Keith’s eyes flutter shut. He was going to have bruises that Keith would press his fingers too and remember this moment. He’d think back on how full he felt, how the thickest part of Shiro filled him with a dull ache, and how he wished there was some way to freeze time.

 

Above all, he’d think back on this moment and bitterly wish that Shiro didn’t have to go. Would wish he could be _that_ selfish and plead with Shiro to stay. Would hate himself a little bit for thinking that because didn’t he understand why Shiro had to leave? Wasn't he well aware that this situation sucked but it could have been worse? 

 

He forced his eyes open, away from his melancholic thoughts and memories, sunk his nails into the meat of Shiro’s shoulders to leave marks of his own. And to yank Shiro's attention back on him. He met Shiro’s wild gaze and growled, “ _Fuck_  me Takashi.”

 

He’d happily fall, head over heels, into Shiro and drown in him. This was the only thing Keith let himself be selfish in. Surely it was okay to be greedy in just one regard?

 

The tip of Shiro’s tongue peeked out to wet his lips before he murmured, “Bossy” and pushed Keith down on his back. 

 

"You like it," Keith reminded him, wincing a little at the stretch before arching his back and moaning as Shiro thrust into him.

 

 

 

_falling, crash into my arms/love you like this/like a first kiss/never let go/falling, crash into my arms/never breaking what we got_

 

On his knees behind Shiro, fucking into him at a punishing pace, Keith wildly thought that maybe if he fucked Shiro hard enough, they’d both tip over into the stars spread out underneath them. That they would phase through the thick glass and float around the same stars that were haloing Shiro's body as he arched back into Keith.

 

Was it a dumb and reckless idea to have sex on the observation deck? Probably.

 

Was it an even worse idea to do so by pushing Shiro’s chest against the viewing window? Arguable.

 

Was it worth it though? To hear Shiro huskily share how much he wanted Keith? To see Shiro’s breath fog the glass over when Keith pushed three slick fingers into him? To tenderly touch the wet flutter of his lashes and hear him beg for more? To feel his hot release spill over his fingers?

 

Absolutely.

 

Always.

 

Later, after they’d cleaned up and tucked themselves back into their pants, Keith sat on the window sill with Shiro in between his arms. His ass and legs were going to ache like hell when he got up but Keith was loathe to change positions. He pressed his lips against Shiro's fresh buzz cut and squeezed the other man's body with his knees.

 

"Is there any reason why no one comes to find us after dinner?”  Shiro asked quietly.

 

Keith grinned, tightening his arms around the other man’s shoulders, “I told them you were mine after dinner.”

 

“Aah,” Shiro rumbled in amusement. “That explains some things.” 

 

The castle raced past a comet, cutting through its trail of space dust. Keith turned his gaze inward, towards the prosthetic Shiro was lightly gripping with his flesh and bone hand in his lap. A thoughtless gesture. “Hunk and Matt finish tuning you up?”

 

Shiro twisted his wrist around, the gears whirring smoothly, “They’ll be done by tomorrow.”

 

 _Right on schedule_ , Keith thought tiredly. They had this process down to a science by now. They always took exactly six days to finish tuning up Shiro's arm.

 

58 days of absence, longing, and missing Shiro sorely.

 

And just 7 days to squeeze all their tender affections and love into each other's hands.

 

_I love you_

_I love you_

_I love you so much I don’t know what to do about it some times_.

 

He buried his face in Shiro’s shoulder and mumbled, “Tell me about that colony of space cats you saved again.”

 

_Is it okay to love you this much?_

_How can I be whole when I gave you half of me years ago?_

_When will I be your home Takashi?_

_When will you come back to me?_

 

Shiro’s hand was smooth and cool against his ear as it messily swept his hair back, wordlessly apologetic, “Okay.”

 

 

 

 

_and just like that/all I breathe/all I feel/you are all for me/i’m in/and just like that/all I breathe/all I feel/you are all for me/all for me_

 

During that last night, they lay facing each other on the bed and whispered everything they’ve been too scared to say in the six days prior.

 

It was easier to share confessions with Shiro’s leaving imminent. 

 

-

 

“It gets a little harder to leave every time.”

 

“Then stay.”

 

“I can’t. Not yet.”

 

–

 

“Will you wait for me?”

 

“Of course.”

 

–

 

“I don’t think I’ll ever be as good of a leader as you.”

 

“You don’t have to be. Just be yourself.”

 

–

 

“I miss you so much some nights I can't breathe."

 

–

 

“If you ever want to move on then I wouldn’t-”

 

“For someone so smart, you can be pretty freaking dumb Takashi.”

 

–

 

“Don’t you feel… I don’t know. Restrained?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, you can only go so far in your pod. After a point even the long range communicators won’t pick up your signal. Don’t you feel … that you’re not _really_  free to go where you want?”

 

“Not really. It’s more like playing in the forest behind your home. It’s just far away to be mysterious and fun without… you know.”

 

“Does that make us your home?”

 

“ _You’re_  my home.”

 

–

 

“Want me to bring you anything special next time?”

 

“Just you.”

 

–

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

–

 

“Take care of yourself okay?”

 

“Mm, I promise.”

 

–

 

 

 

 

_no one can lift me, catch me the way that you do/i’m still falling for you_

The first time, when Shiro had dipped him into a kiss? It had felt like a good bye.

 

A period at the end of a paragraph. 

 

 _Would a new thought and paragraph start?_ Keith had wondered as he'd watched Shiro's pod turn into a speck and disappear from their sights.

 

Now he knows that each good bye, even though it is tinted with orange sorrow, isn't necessary the end. It's like a semi-colon or a comma.

 

To be continued.

 

It was a promise now.  _You’ll/I’ll be fine_ wrapped tenderly in the rock-solid belief that they would return to each other.

 

_I'll be waiting for you_

_I'll come back to you_. 

 

A new absolute for both of them to hang onto when their world revolved around uncertainties. 

 

Shiro’s smile was tender, the back of his fingers gentle as they slid down Keith’s cheek, “I’ll see you soon.” They stood a ways away from the others, being given a small measure of privacy, wrapped up in each others arms. 

 

How weird was it that the space between them felt like it grew smaller and smaller with every visit? Keith smiled, stole another kiss from Shiro before pressing his hand against his neck. Above the marks hidden underneath the full body suit Shiro was wearing. Tracing them with a thumb before murmuring, “Come back home to me.”

 

Pressing a kiss to the bony part of his thumb, Shiro whispered back, “Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> hahaha oh man i dont think i did 117 justice at all imma go jump into a lake bye


End file.
